


restring

by regulus0094



Category: ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Universe, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Realistic, Slice of Life, told in different POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24554320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulus0094/pseuds/regulus0094
Summary: In which Hyungu is seeing someone new, and Yonghoon is either in love with him, or simply afraid of losing a friend.
Relationships: Jin Yonghoon/Kang Hyungu | Kanghyun
Comments: 28
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first time ever for me to write fanfiction about real people. Please do remember that the events depicted in this story are entirely fictional, and so are the personality interpretations of the 'characters' involved!

For three whole days, Dongmyeong thought that this feud between Hyungu and Yonghoon was just a prank, like the usual sort. In the five years they had been together, all sorts of pranked were pulled and it wouldn’t be the first (nor the last) time two people pretended to be on bad terms and bursted into laughter when someone actually fell for it.

Well, if it was a prank, they were keeping it up real good, because neither of them cracked a smile since it had begun.

He was sitting on the sofa of the recording room alone. Harin and Giwook had already finished their parts so they got to leave early and have dinner at this new bibimbap restaurant down the block. He wanted to go with them initially, but decided he would eat his meal with his brother instead. After all, it had been quite awhile since they ate together; their schedules had been hectic and there really wasn’t time for a good talk. Dongmyeong stared at the glass behind the recording studio where Yonghoon was standing, his hand pressed so tightly against one side of his headphones as if it was falling off.

Their director (slash lead producer) had stepped out for an emergency meeting, leaving Hyungu alone in charge. It was fair; he wrote this song so he got to call the shots. It was Their rule. The Rule. However, it was also an unwritten rule that they wouldn’t be unnecessarily harsh on each other even at stressful times, but it seemed like Hyungu, the soft-spoken, calm Kang Hyungu, was way crankier than usual.

“Hyung, you were flat,” he commented, pausing the music. Yonghoon didn’t look up from the music stand, where the lyrics were attached to.

“I wasn’t,” Yonghoon spoke through the intercom.

“You were, I heard it.”

“You heard it wrong, then.”

“This is my song, I wrote it, and you were flat.”

“Why are you picking on me?”

“I’m not picking on you.”

“You clearly are.”

“Hyung, I want to go home to my bed as much as you do.”

Yonghoon had turned off the intercom but Dongmyeong could almost hear his sigh through the soundproof glass. Then the door was opened, Yonghoon walked out without looking at anyone in the room.

“I’m getting some coffee,” he said, but it wasn’t clear whom he was addressing.

“It’s 7pm, hyung,” Dongmyeong reminded him, “You said you wouldn’t drink coffee past 5.” But he was already halfway out the exit.

Hyungu let out a deep sigh and buried his face into his palms. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, Dongmyeong heard him walking into the living room in the early hours, trying to pick up the unorganisable mess piling up on the ground. At this point he was pretty sure the band’s present and former leaders weren’t pulling their leg. They were actually fighting, and Dongmyeong had no idea why.

Unless, it was because of _that_.

Around a week ago Hyungu told them that he had a new girlfriend. It was hardly a surprise; he had been smiling a lot more at his phone than at book pages for quite a while.

Dongmyeong didn’t personally know who the girl was. The only thing Hyungu was willing to inform them was that she was a violinist and they met in a music-related event (obviously) a couple of months ago. Harin and Giwook teased him relentlessly for the whole night but life went on without the subject ever being brought on again. But since that day, Yonghoon had been in a sulking slump, and Dongmyeong was really not used to seeing his happy-go-lucky leader being in a constant foul mood.

“You won’t forget about us, will you?” was the only thing he said to Hyungu that night at the barbecue place. Even then Dongmyeong didn’t think of this as anything other than a joke.

Honestly, he could not for the love of god think of any good reason Yonghoon would be mad at Hyungu for, and vice versa. First off, it wasn’t like none of them had ever dated anyone before; hell, even Yonghoon himself had a girlfriend back in the days, but broke things off because of agency regulations. This had never been a big deal and nobody had let their personal business get in the way of work. After all, they would all agree the band came first before anything else. Hyungu had always been responsible - perhaps the most responsible - with keeping up his work quality and everything.

After that day everyone with a brain could see the Yonghoon’s sudden switch in attitude. It was as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water over him, and he had somehow absorbed all the coldness onto himself. He barely even spoken a full sentence to any of his members. At first Dongmyeong thought he had a bad hangover and would get over it after a cup of morning coffee, but Yonghoon had been drinking at least three mugs a day and his frown had only gotten deeper.

An hour later he wrapped up his recording session with Hyungu, who was even quieter than usual. They decided to call it a day and return to their dorm. Yonghoon hadn’t returned at all; maybe it was a good thing, today wasn’t exactly the best day for another argument.

But when they reached home Yonghoon wasn’t there either. Giwook and Harin were laughing at something on the laptop, but stopped when they saw Hyungu’s expression.

What happened? Giwook mouthed at him as Hyungu walked pass them to use the bathroom. Dongmyeong shrugged.

“So, they are still at it, huh?” Harin asked.

“Apparently.”

“I just can’t figure them out sometimes.”

"Touché.”

Dongmyeong wasn’t particularly worried, to tell the truth. They had been through worse fights before, and there surely would be more fights to come. Stuff like this would never break them up or whatever. They were a band! What kind of band would they be if they hadn’t fought at all!

He went to bed early and heard Giwook shuffling on the upper bunk, probably choosing Animal Crossing over sleep again. He seemed to be unaware of Yonghoon and Hyungu’s strange attitude towards each other, or maybe he was aware and was simply too nervous to say anything about it. Harin was usually the middleman when conflict arose, and Dongmyeong suspected that he had spoken to both parties privately. Whatever he had done, it clearly hadn’t worked at all.

_People are annoying_ , Dongmyeong concluded silently, and soon drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

At approximately 4am Giwook woke up to faint noise of an ongoing argument. His game console was left uncharged on his pillow, shimmering in red; he must had fallen asleep mid-game. He got up and rolled over, and saw the living room lights turned on through the crack of the door. From the voices he knew in an instance it was Yonghoon and Hyungu.

Great, he thought bitterly. Now he couldn’t possibly sneak past them and use the bathroom without acknowledging their fight.

He carefully climbed off the bunk bed, trying to remain as quiet as possible because Dongmyeong was a terrifyingly light sleeper. He turned on the knobs and the door creaked, the noise made him cringe and he wanted to recoil back into his sheets instantly as the argument came into a halt.

“Dongmyeong?” Yonghoon called out. Giwook knew he had no choice but to step out of the room.

“It’s me, hyung,” he said.

“You haven’t slept?” Hyungu asked him.

“I was, and…” Giwook trailed off, knowing he didn’t have to explain further.

“Oh…” Yonghoon said, laughing awkwardly. “Don’t sweat over it, go back to bed.”

“Hyung -”

“We have to wake up in five hours.” Hyungu cut him off. “Goodnight.”

Hyungu went into the larger dorm room silently. Yonghoon was still smiling awkwardly, there was not a single trace of anger on his face at all. It was not unusual, he had always hid negativity quite well in front of everyone, though this talent of his seemed to have faded recently.

“Where have you been all night, hyung?”

“I…I was out for a stroll. To clear my thoughts.”

“A stroll? At midnight?” Giwook pressed.

“Go to sleep, Giwook,” Yonghoon said insistently.

“I have to use the bathroom.”  


“Okay, use the bathroom, and _then_ go to sleep.”

“Right on.”

After he closed the bathroom door Yonghoon was, once again, no where to be seen. He had probably gone off the bed after Hyungu had settled in, not wanting another direct fight. Giwook was secretly hoping they would get into one big shouting match, in which they simply explain what exactly they were mad about, instead of having this - lingering cold war, looming above everyone’s heads constantly.

In his views, after knowing his members for so long, it wasn’t a surprise that the two clashes once again over trivial things. Hyungu was quiet, but he also held quiet grudges, while Yonghoon could be hot-headed and shoved problems out of the way as his marched, which could sometimes be ineffective. The point was, whatever they were fighting about, it was like they had sworn into secrecy to not let anyone know. And this was frankly what bothered Giwook the most. ‘You could talk to me’, Yonghoon had told him over and over, and he obliged too, for Yonghoon gave good advice. Hyungu was more of a listener, but he was attentive. Nevertheless, it was quite unfair that Giwook consulted them about almost everything in life, yet they kept dead silent about the core of their conflict.

If Dongmyeong’s theories were correct, it would be about Hyungu’s new girlfriend. Dongmyeong spent a whole hour talking away on his lower bunk bed, whispering to Giwook about impossibly wild scenarios.

“Do you think maybe they fell for the same person?” Dongmyeong suggested that night. “That would literally be the most cliche band-breakup ever.”

“Don’t say that, hyung,” Giwook replied. “We won’t ever break up.”

Even if Giwook knew fully Dongmyeong was joking, he didn’t like that thought being spoken aloud. He didn’t want that thought in his head, even if it was equally as impossible.

“No, you’re right, of course not,” Dongmyeong said softly. And though Giwook couldn’t see his face from his bed, he could hear Dongmyeong suddenly becoming solemn.

Harin, on the other hand, didn’t seem particularly worried. He said they were all adults, and they could solve this in a mature manner without interference. Soon they would get tired of all the bickering and work it out themselves. But as a week, then two weeks went by, Giwook was starting to wonder if it was plausible for the two to ever even see each other eye to eye again.

***

When Giwook heard that Hyungu had found someone new, he was genuinely glad for him. Not only because Hyungu seemed happier, but also because romance was such a good source for music inspiration. Well, technically anything in life could be a source of music inspiration, considering he himself created a track out of a broken pipe. But romance always seemed to bring out the most intense and extreme emotions in a human being. There could be extreme joy, overwhelming sadness, underlying jealousy, and much more that had been sewn into melodies and lyrics. It was, at least, the case for him.

And it was Giwook’s song they were recording the next day (in his defence, this song was unromantic), so naturally Giwook was the one sitting in front of the mic stand giving instructions and suggestions. While waiting for someone to fix issues with the internet connection, Dongmyeong and Harin made some excuses about forgetting their chargers at the pantry and left the room briefly, but Giwook suspected it was really for getting Yonghoon and Hyungu to speak to each other again.

They were sitting on either ends of the couch, Yonghoon was staring into space and Hyungu mindlessly plucking at his guitar, creating a strange tune. Giwook cautiously glanced at their reflections through the pristine glass. Looking at the bright side, at least they weren’t arguing.

Click!

Something from behind him snapped, Giwook turned to find Hyungu holding Gryffindor with all its strings broken. He must had been plucking at the guitar too harshly, one of the strings bounced backwards and cut his fingers. He gasped in pain, nearly dropping his beloved guitar, but Yonghoon quickly picked it up before it hit the ground.

“Are you okay?” he asked in concern. “It didn’t get your eyes, did it?”

Hyungu shook his head, still appeared to be shocked from the sudden snap.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Giwook asked.

“Yes, I’m alright.”

“Do you need a bandage for your hand?”

“I’ll wash it off,” Hyungu said, standing up.

“What about the guitar?”  


“I’ll restring it when I come back.”

“Your hands are hurt, I’ll restring it for you,” Yonghoon offered.

“No, thank you,” Hyungu replied rather bluntly. “You don’t know how I do it.”

Giwook looked at the guitar, now lying across the couch helplessly with broken strings. And he found Yonghoon looking at the guitar with an inexplicable look on his face.

Could it be anger? No, it was probably more of sadness. Giwook didn’t quite know what to make of it.

When Harin and Dongmyeong finally returned (they claimed their chargers were in the practice room all along), Yonghoon was still glancing at the guitar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments and kudos! I'm genuinely surprised this fic gained any attention at all, to be honest.
> 
> Also, I apologize for the slow and scarce updates. I only have little free time during the day to write, so please bear with me!
> 
> PS This story will contain about 10-12 chapters with 1-2k words per update.

Harin was very tired of being the messenger between Yonghoon and Hyungu, especially when the message never got across before getting shot down abruptly.

“Hey, you wanna grab dinner together?” 

He asked Hyungu casually when they were alone in the practice room. They spend a lot of time at the practice room alone since it was also their shared studio, but most of the time spent there was silent and secluded, almost. The unstable internet and soundproof foams all over the walls made the place seem mysterious in a way.

“No,” Hyungu simply replied.

“Why? Date night?”

His friend looked exasperated. “No,” he said again. “Because I know you invited Yonghoon hyung.”

“Wh- How -”

“You left your Kakaotalk window opened on your computer.”

“Oh, so you looked through my texts?”  


“It was right on the screen, kind of hard to miss if you ask me.”

“Fair enough,” Harin admitted.

They were quiet for another minute before Hyungu unplugged his electric guitar and reached for its rack, signalling that he was leaving the room, so Harin took the chance and pressed him.

“So, when are you two going to be friends again?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Hyungu said, his tone was terse. “When _he_ stops sulking and yelling at me.”

“You yelled at him, too. A whole lot.”

“Because he yelled at me, first.”

“You know, it’s getting pretty dumb at this point,” Harin said sharply. “I’m sure whatever the hell happened between you two doesn’t require three whole weeks of…this, to get over.”

“Right, you don’t know what happened.”

“Are you even planning to tell me what happened?”

Hyungu sighed, and told him for the third and final time, “No.”

***

“You know,” Dongmyeong told him on the way to their practice room. “This can’t go on forever.”

Harin agreed, of course. Just like himself, Dongmyeong hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on. Unlike him, however, Harin had a hunch. It was only a hunch, but a clue nonetheless.

A few weeks ago, even before Hyungu’s Big Announcement, he was walking to the practice room, the same exact route he was taking with Dongmyeong at the moment. The only difference was that he was alone, and the entire basement was empty. It must had been way over one in the morning, even the main lights were out. He was only there to retrieve his bag before going home. He also took the staircase because the lifts were always off at night to save power.

Normally the practice room was always occupied. They were all night owls and enjoyed the peace and quiet while concentrating on work. The half-transparent blinds were down and the lights were off, surprisingly, an indication that it was vacant. It was unusual off the bat. Harin approached cautiously. Now, it wasn’t like he was afraid of the dark or anything supernatural, but even being completely alone in a familiar environment could be - stress-inducing.

When he reached the staircase exit and put his hand on the door knob, the door opened before he managed to turn it. It gave him a fright as he beckoned, realising the figure come rushing out of the room was only Yonghoon. His face was pale white, like he had just seen a ghost. He seemed…afraid. And confused.

“Hyung?’ Harin asked. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Yonghoon said, as if he didn’t notice Harin standing right in front of him until being spoken to. “Harin! Why are you still here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Harin frowned. “What are you doing in the dark?”

Yonghoon coughed. It was as fake of a cough as it could be. He muttered something and Harin couldn’t hear him clearly.

“Come again?”

“Keyboard, keytar, I mean,” Yonghoon said, his voice wavering. “Dongmyeong sent me to get it.”

“What does he need it for?”

“I-I don’t know! Anyway, it’s not here. It’s probably…manager hyung probably took it away somewhere. I’m heading home.”

Yonghoon turned and practically ran up the stairs without giving Harin a chance to ask more questions. He took big strides like he was escaping from puppies at a dog park. Harin stared at his back for a while, deciding that caffeine must had gotten into Yonghoon’s poor overworked brain, and resumed his journey to the practice room.

When he pushed open the door, it was the moment he received his second jumpscare. The computer was on, with a sound project on the screen, illuminating the person sitting in front of it. Judging from the hair color, it was none other than Hyungu.

“Are you guys doing this on purpose?” Harin asked after regaining composure.

Hyungu never tore his sight away from the screen. He was almost completely frozen, with the air conditioning blowing past his hair, messing it up even more. He was staring at the screen with his mouth opened, and jolted upwards when Harin waved his hands abruptly in front of him.

“Oh,” he said indifferently. “It’s just you.”

“Yeah, it’s just me, sorry to disappoint.”

“If you’re looking for your bag, it’s over there on the couch.”

“Alright, thanks.”

Harin switched on the lights and Hyungu left his chair, pacing back and forth restlessly. He looked tired and Harin felt kind of bad for distracting him.

“Were you working with Yonghoon hyung?” Harin asked curiously.

“Yes, why?” Hyungu replied, almost defensively, which was weird.

“I bumped into him on the way. He looked scared. What’s up?”

“Dunno. Maybe just because he bumped into you.”

“Yeah, probably.” Harin strapped his bag firmly across his shoulder. “Aren’t you going home?”

“No…I, I have to finish this tonight,” Hyungu said. “Goodnight, bye.”

Hyungu sounded like he wanted to be left alone. Harin obliged and left promptly, closing the door behind him. He hadn’t given much thought about that night until their cold war began.

He didn’t tell anyone about this. Not even Dongmyeong and Giwook, who were both walking on eggshells around Yonghoon and Hyungu because of the tensed situation. It was like he had - seen something that he shouldn’t had. He couldn’t quite explain it in words. But anyhow, it was strange to see them at such a state.

“Harin hyung!” Dongmyeong said agitatedly, pulling Harin back into reality. “I was talking to you!”

“Oh, yes, sorry, I was just thinking about something. What was it?”

“I think we should talk to both Yonghoon hyung and Hyungu hyung separately again.”

“I told you, I tried, nothing worked. Neither of them would tell me a single thing.”

“Yes, but what if we catch them off guard?” Dongmyeong suggested. “I mean, like, you could ask Hyungu hyung to go to the PC room with you, alone. Giwook and I could take Yonghoon to Gicova Chicken so he would be distracted for at least an hour - Wait, no, on second thought,” Dongmyeong added quickly. “Let’s leave Giwook out of this.”

“Why?”

“He’s just a kid, he shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“You’re hardly older than him,” Harin reminded him.

“Yes, I know…but, you know,” Dongmyeong mumbled, as if he explained anything at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I writing a story with five unreliable narrators? You bet I am.
> 
> Btw if you like this story so far, kudos and comments are really appreciated!

Hyungu liked to consider himself a realist rather than a romantic, but he could not deny to himself the imagination of falling in love. Not just dating somebody exclusively whom you had a sentimental attachment towards, but truly, wholeheartedly, and desperately loving somebody. It was, of course, something he had yet to experience, but he could hear it in songs, dedicated from its writer to the loved recipients. He envisioned that feeling must be similar to the warmness he felt when _She_ by Elvis Costello played in the background during a scene in _Notting Hill_. He decided that, once he had heard the song play automatically in his head, it would be the giveaway that he had fallen for someone.

Alright, maybe he was a bit of a romantic. After all, every artist needed that good bit of romanticism to create things which people could appreciate.

It wouldn’t be the first time he had fought with Yonghoon. The first time they had a real argument it was even more awkward, given they weren’t as close back then. Yonghoon had accidentally knocked Gryffindor on the ground and snapped its strings just like that, in addition to giving it an extra scar on the edge. Hyungu was furious with him and ignored him the whole time while he was restringing his prized guitar, with Yonghoon apologising profusely behind him.

Repairing a relationship would resemble the process of restringing a guitar, he would imagine. It required patience and care, it was repetitive, and any mistakes made in the process may cause further damages. However, once it was done, everything would be good as new. Sure, it may take a few weeks before he got used to the new strings, but soon the tune would sound just as before.

He’d calmed down after restringing Gryffindor, and realised he was being childishly angry over something that could be fixed easily, and apologised to Yonghoon afterwards. Yonghoon didn’t mind, of course. He was always understanding. Perhaps too understanding for his own good at times. Sometimes he could be so selfless to an extent it was _selfish._

But this time it was different. He did not know how to restring the severed ties between them. Maybe he was bad at reading people, but there was no way after five long years together he wouldn’t be able to read Jin Yonghoon.

Today he had a date, a date with _her_. For many reasons he was not too thrilled about it; he was functioning on three hours of sleep and many problems shrouding his head. But he decided he was going to forget them all for a moment and try to enjoy himself. He did sign up for this - relationship, after all. Though it wasn’t him who initiated it, he was the one who accepted it without hesitation. He thought it could at least bring some closure to The Incident. It takes time, he thought. It’s not easy to simply forget something so unforgettable.

She was early, already waiting for him in front of the underground station, wearing a simple coral dress and heels with matching color. She was pretty; she should be, objectively. Hyungu closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before walking towards her. 

He didn’t hear any song in his head.

***

It was a typical dinner-and-a-movie. The movie they watched was alright. Forgettable, but tolerable to say the least. It was an English film about some aristocrat in the 19th century and their antics. She seemed to have enjoyed it a lot, though, so Hyungu quickly hit his film critic hat and kept all his criticisms inside his throat.

They went to a nice, small restaurant nearby. Hyungu tucked at the collar of his dress shirt uncomfortably. He didn’t even know why he would wear a dress shirt like he was going to church or a job interview. He threw on a T-shirt before he left but decided it was too casual for the occasion, but he didn’t have anything in-between casual and business, so he just wore a dress shirt. It seemed to him the safest option.

The dishes arrived at their table really quickly, which was a relief because their conversations was really running dry, Hyungu felt apologetic. He was never good at making small talk, and she was the one who did all the talking during dinner, aside from finding out they had basically no common interest outside of music.

“So,” she broke the silence suddenly, after finishing her second glass of ice water. “What did you read lately?”

Hyungu glanced up from his pasta and she was looking at him in anticipation.

“I -” He actually hadn’t read anything since The Incident. “ - read this book named Perfume.”

“Perfume? What is it about? A perfume maker?” she asked.

“Sort of, uh, it’s about a man with superhuman-sense of smell,” he replied, and paused, uncertain of how to continue. It wouldn’t be appropriate to bring up all the gruesome details of the plot over dinner.

“Oh wow,” she merely said.

And they fell silent again. Hyungu really wanted to go home at this point.

It was so awkward. They had been friends before she suggested they ‘went out’. When they were friends he had no problem conversing with her. They talked mostly about music, sure, but that was probably the main reason she even asked him out in the first place. But now, it felt like they couldn’t even be friends anymore, and talk about friend-stuff and nerd out together about music. He dreaded the fact.

They parted ways after dinner. She had a recital rehearsal and he had to head back to the recording studio. She promised she would text him soon, and left by a cab. He took the underground back to the office building. The train was crowded and the air was stiff and musky. He stood by the window, looking out, and wondered why he still couldn’t hear a damn thing in his head no matter how hard he concentrated.

It was safe to say, this date (if he could even call it that) was an utter failure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this chapter! I was really busy throughout the whole week.

Two bandmates walk into a Gicova Chicken chainstore - could be a good start to a stand-up joke, Yonghoon thought in amusement. Dongmyeong insisted on paying for the meal, so he wasn’t going to complain about the service extremely slow even they were the only two customers in the hot, summer afternoon. There was only one young girl working at the cashier, taken up a part-time summer job, presumably. He thought of the days he worked part time at a convenient store when he was living alone in Seoul. Back then everything, and everyone, seemed much simpler and happier.

Dongmyeong came back cheerily with their food on a tray. He had been saying he was starving since three hours ago, having to worked out like his life depended on it. The air conditioning in the fast food restaurant was too weak. Yonghoon took a huge sip of coke from his plastic cup in hopes to cool down.

“I’m so nice to you, aren’t I, hyung?” Dongmyeong said, already putting on his plastic gloves.

“What’s the occasion?”

Dongmyeong rolled his eyes dramatically. “Does it _have_ to be an occasion?” he demanded. “Can’t I just be a kind person who wants to hang out with his hyung?”

“We hardly eat together these days,” Yonghoon said. “I mean, with just the two of us.”

“Right, exactly,” Dongmyeong agreed. “So I thought it would be nice for us to have a chat over lunch.”

Yonghoon raised his eyebrows, but Dongmyeong did not continue. Instead he picked up a piece of unflavoured chicken and started to eat. “This is so good,” he said. It made Yonghoon’s eyebrows rise up even more; Dongmyeong hated Gicova with a burning passion.

He decided to drop the matter and enjoy his free lunch in the meantime. Dongmyeong seemed to be entirely absorbed in eating his set meal and did not even cast a glance at Yonghoon.

“Dongmyeong,” Yonghoon said so suddenly Dongmyeong almost choked on his drink. “I know why we’re here,”

“Huh?”

“I know why we’re here,” Yonghoon said again. “You want to ask me what’s wrong with me and…”

That name got stuck in his throat for some reason. It felt like ages since he had said Kang Hyungu’s name out loud. These days they didn’t talk to each other much.

Dongmyeong seemed to have given up his act and sighed. “You’re right. I was going to ask you about it.”

“And, as I have told you before, we will sort it out by ourselves, you don’t have to worry.”

“But when exactly will you sort it out?”

“Eventually, we will.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“I don’t know what to tell you either,” Yonghoon told him. “This isn’t really something that can be helped by outsiders.”

“But _we_ are not outsiders,” Dongmyeong argued relentlessly. He sounded a bit hurt, too. Yonghoon felt apologetic.

“Look - Dongmyeong,” Yonghoon said. “I didn’t mean that. Of course you’re not outsiders, neither are Harin and Giwook. But…it’s just…”

His hesitant attitude was getting on Dongmyeong’s nerves, it was written all over his annoyed face. “It’s just what?” he asked. 

“It’s…complicated,” Yonghoon struggled to find the right word to describe it.

It wasn’t really all that complicated. In fact, the whole incident could be summed up pretty easily with one or two sentences. But it was complicated in a way that it was never supposed to happen. And because of that, he couldn’t tell Dongmyeong, or any living soul about it.

And seeing that Hyungu got himself a new girlfriend right away, he seemed to be determined to bring their secret into his grave, too.

“I don’t get it,” Dongmyeong snapped at him. “And now you’re just telling me to mind my own business, aren’t you?”

“I’m not…”

“No, really, I don’t get it. What could be so complicated that you can’t even explain a thing to me, someone you’ve known for more than five years?” Dongmyeong carried on. “I mean, I know basically everything about you, whether I like it or not. Why can’t - unless - ”

Dongmyeong became really quiet. His impassioned expression softened, and he looked at Yonghoon like he had known him for the first time in his life.

“Oh my god,” he said. “You’re in love with him.”

The restaurant, the street, the whole world, seemed to have stopped moving for a second. Yonghoon felt his heart sink, like a boulder dropped into the sea. The light-headedness he was experiencing since they went indoors was worsening.

“That is not funny,” he said, trying to keep his composure.

“And I’m not kidding,” Dongmyeong insisted. “That’s the only logical explanation I’ve got, at least. You’re in love with him!”

“I am not! Wh-I-what gives you that idea?”

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s because neither of you would say a damn thing!”

Maybe Dongmyeong had come into realisation of how ridiculous he sounded, because he began to backtrack from his words, which was a relief. Yonghoon gulped down his coke like it was cold beer and put it back on the tray a bit too harshly, the lip almost popped open at his force.

“Dongmyeong, I am very seriously telling you this,” Yonghoon took a deep breath and said. “I am in no way, shape or form, in love with Hyungu. Do you understand? It’s important to me that you understand that.”

“Alright, alright, that wasn’t really funny of me, I get it,” Dongmyeong said. “But you do look jealous to me.”

“Jealous? And why would I be jealous?” Yonghoon laughed dryly. “Jealous at whom?”

“Hyungu hyung’s girlfriend, I guess.”

“Why would I be jealous at his girlfriend?”

“Hyung, I know how you feel, I really do,” Dongmyeong sat up straight and tried to soften his voice. “You’re afraid of losing a friend to someone else. It happens to everyone, even in our twenties! Back in high school, when one of my friends started dating this guy, I was jealous too! Because obviously I wanted to hang out with her and I didn’t want give up-”

“Thanks, Dongmyeong,” Yonghoon cut him off. “For trying _to_ console me.” He just wanted a way out of this conversation as soon as possible. He could feel a headache forming in the back of his head; it was bad omen.

“So, do you feel better now?” Dongmyeong asked.

“I think so.”

“Okay, good.”

***

Yonghoon slumped on his computer chair at his studio. He ate too much and too quickly, Gicova tasted as good as usual, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Mostly because of what Dongmyeong had talked about.

Was he jealous? Could he be jealous? There was no way he could be jealous. Jealousy wasn’t the source of his anger towards Hyungu. In fact, he couldn’t care less that he had a girlfriend now. Whatever made him happy would do. Whatever that could erase The Incident from both of their brains -

He turned on his computer and pulled out a MIDI file he had been working on since last week. It was supposed to be done and turned in before weekend, but he’d had a musicians’ block and couldn’t decided on the bridge of the track. It was yet another breakup song; numerous jokes were made about his constant breakup songs. Giwook once said that he had gone through a hunred times more breakups inside of his studio alone than he had in real life at this point. Yonghoon bit his tongue when he saw the unfinished project, and winced at the gap between the choruses.

The bitterness inside of his throat hadn’t faded yet. When he jotted down the lyrics on a piece of draft paper, he may or may not had been thinking about Kang Hyungu.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!
> 
> And I think this story will be longer than I'd originally planned it out to be. Please bear with my slow updates!

The text started with _Hey_. But it didn’t feel quite right, too informal in a way. Hyungu deleted the letters and tried again. _How are you doing today?_ Okay, now he sounded like a middle aged man texting his estranged wife back in hometown. He deleted the whole text once more and threw himself on the bed.

_Hi, I’m really sorry about everything. I was actually just, kind of using you as a rebound_ \- no. It wasn’t rebound. There wasn’t anything to rebound for. Revenge, maybe? Revenged sounded too intense, though. He had to think of better wordings. Texting people was harder than writing lyrics sometimes.

_Hey, just wanna let you know that, I said yes to dating you, because I didn’t like the thought of possibly being in love with one of my bandmates. Sorry, I know it sounds weird, and I don’t want to weird you out, either. But I’d like to come clean about everything, I’m very sorry. I truly am._

This sounded a lot worse. He was being a complete asshole, he knew that. But it was either being an asshole or a liar, which was equally as terrible.

It was one in the morning. Yonghoon was still at the company building. He stayed until really late every night, even later than usual, and Hyungu suspected he was still trying to avoid him. He appreciated the effort, because it saved them a lot of awkward good mornings and good evenings. They had dinner with the director a couple of days ago, and even he could sense something in the air was wrong. Yonghoon and Hyungu sat next to each other awkwardly, and when the director asked Hyungu to pass over the drinks to Yonghoon, they couldn’t even meet each others’ eyes.

Dongmyeong and Harin were right. This couldn’t keep on forever, but he still couldn’t figure out how to fix it. On top of that, they were stuck in that tiny flat for another four years at least. They couldn’t go on with life giving each other the cold shoulder, it just was not feasible at all. He turned over on his bed, the unoccupied upper bunk looked like it was going to close in unto him, burying him inside of all his troubled thoughts and repressed memories.

He did eventually fall asleep, but even in his sleep reality haunted him wherever he went. He dreamt of Yonghoon, facing the other way, refusing to talk to him no matter how many times he called his name. Then the scene shifted to _her_. She was as beautiful as usual, wearing her recital gown and silver earrings. He was in the audience, and appeared to be the only one listening. She started her performance, but he couldn’t hear any tune coming from the violin. Suddenly the curtain dropped, and everything returned to darkness. He glanced to his side and found Yonghoon sitting next to him, his eyes fixated at the empty movie screen in front of them. _Hyung_ , he called out, shaking Yonghoon’s shoulders, _Where are we?_

Yonghoon turned and smiled at him. _We’re going nowhere, Hyungu,_ he said gently.

And then Hyungu woke up in a start. He checked the clock and it was barely five. He heard Yonghoon’s heavy breaths coming from the other side of the room and tried to shake the vivid images out of his head.

Needless to say, he spent the rest of the morning lying wide awake on his bed.

***

“Is that a failed attempt in peace-making with hyung?”

Harin’s voice entered the studio, it was muffled over Hyungu’s soundproof headphones. He took them off, not caring that it ruffled his hair into a bigger, bright-colored mess, and turned to Harin.

“What do you mean?” Hyungu asked.

Harin pointed at the iced Americano on his computer desk nonchalantly.

“Ah, I just - I couldn’t really sleep last night.”

“Nightmares?” Harin said.

Hyungu blinked twice. “How did you know?”

“Just a guess. Also, you were tossing and turning so much that I ended up not getting any sleep, too.”

“Oh…” Hyungu sighed. “Sorry about that.”

“How is she?” Harin asked suddenly.

“Who?”  


“Your girlfriend, obviously.”

“I…don’t think I can call her that, yet,” Hyungu admitted.

“What, you’re having second thoughts now?”

“We are better off as friends, I figured.”

“I see,” Harin said. “I thought you really liked her, though.”

“Well, I do like her, but maybe only as a friend, as it turns out,” Hyungu said, waving his hand dismissively. “Anyway, let’s not talk about me anymore. Have you sent the recordings to Giwook yet?”

“Yeah, but he hasn’t had the chance to look through them yet, so we just have to wait at the moment.”

“Oh, all right then.”

They talked about more trivial things, Hyungu couldn’t really remember because he wasn’t paying attention aside from giving obligatory nods or yes-no answers. He practiced on his acoustic guitar until his all of fingers were stiff and numb. 

Romance may be the biggest inspiration but it could also be the biggest distraction. Hyungu opened up a new file and tried to conjure something to write about. He tried thinking about her, illustrating metaphors to describe her attractiveness, her personality, her attitude, but in the end he was drawing a blank, as he found himself unable to dedicate any verse to her.

When Hyungu started to date his first girlfriend he was merely fifteen, and everything you did when you were fifteen and ended at sixteen didn’t count. He met his second girlfriend when he was nineteen, slightly more mature and slightly more knowledgable on what is love and attraction and all that. Now he was twenty-two and there was nothing else that had confused him more than love itself. In his mind, whenever he was wearing the musician hat, there was always an image of _She_ inside his head. It was like a stock image of romance, a love he thought that anyone would understand. _She_ might be the subject of his songs, but pragmatically it was just a motif which had now taken shape in someone new.

The revelation made him really scared. He clutched onto the guitar and tried really hard to focus on not throwing up. He really shouldn’t have drunk iced Americano on an empty stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hyung…please, take it slow, okay?” Giwook said, pushing the pause button and the instrumental track stopped instantly. “We are not in a rush.” 

Yonghoon strained his voice for the third time, and it was the third time they tried to record the bridge of their latest rock ballad. It was the passionate sort, the ones that you had to sing as if you were pouring out your heart and soul to someone you yearned for. Instead of that, Yonghoon looked like neither his heart nor soul was present in the recording studio. He dropped his headphones in frustration, and looked up at Giwook.

“I can try again,” he insisted.

“No, you can’t, hyung,” Giwook said, remembering what their vocal coach, who conveniently shared the same given name as Yonghoon, told them every lesson. Don’t push your limits just because, he always reminded them. You think you’re climbing an uphill battle, but in fact you’re just waiting to tumble down in the end. Yonghoon liked to push himself as far as possible with anything, so it was difficult for him to keep that lesson in mind.

“It’s fine,” Yonghoon said. His tone sounded wrong.

“Hyung - ” Giwook lifted his hand from the control panel. “Are you okay?”

Giwook couldn’t really see his face over the dusty glass painted with fingerprints. 

“I am,” Yonghoon said.

“If you’re feeling under the weather we can take a break - ”

“I just wish people would stop asking me.”

“Asking what?”

“If I was okay.”

“It’s because we care about you, believe it or not,” Giwook said, trying hard not to sound angry, because he was growing a bit angry at that moment, to be truthful.

“I know, and I appreciate that.”

“Hyungu hyung seems really down these days, you know, why don’t you try talking to him again?”

“Down? Him?” Yonghoon said. “He has a new, pretty girlfriend, he has no reason to be down.”

“Hyung, I’m going to stop talking to you as well if you keep taking out your frustrations on the rest of us.”

When Giwook dropped the ultimatum Yonghoon looked up from his sheet music and broke out of his sulky state for a second.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately said. “I didn’t mean to, it’s just - there is so much stuff on my mind right now.”

He turned away from the microphone for a moment and Giwook couldn’t hear him clearly, but it was pretty obvious he sighed ponderously. Giwook didn’t know what to say next. He had squeezed out every word of compassion, but each time he offered them to Yonghoon it seemed to make him even more distressed, so he kept silent instead.

“Giwook,” Yonghoon said briskly.

“Yes, hyung?”

“Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“No, never,” Giwook answered, shaking his head. “Of course I don’t.”

“But I think I might have done something horrible.”

“To Hyungu hyung?”

Yonghoon simply nodded, and for a second Giwook thought he was tearing up, but it was just a trcik on the eye played by the dusty part of the glass between them. But Giwook knew right away that it would be the only piece of information Yonghoon was willing to give him. And he was right, too.

***

Giwook saw Hyungu’s girlfriend, or date, whatever he’d like to call her, in the afternoon, and out of the blue. Hyungu kept on emphasising that she was ‘someone he was seeing’ for some reason. Apparently, she was nearby and wanted to meet up with him briefly, before she took was driven off to Busan for a recital tour. The company staff were kind enough to let her in and wait at a vacant meeting room. It just so happened that Giwook went into that meeting room to retrieve a few pieces of loose sheet music.

She instantly recognised him, though she had only remembered him as the shy, timid middle schooler from their former music academy, and was pleasantly surprised by his growth. Giwook had some time to spare so he sat with her for a while. Hyungu was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you want me to give him a call or something?” Giwook finally said. It had been nearly fifteen minutes since she had arrived and he felt kind of bad. Hyungu was in a meeting with other producers, he wasn’t quite sure about what, but it seemed important enough to keep him occupied for the entire afternoon.

“No, there’s no need, I just popped in to say goodbye,” she smiled and said. “I guess I came at a bad time.”

“I’m sorry, on his behalf.”

“Don’t be, I should have called before coming over, anyway.” Her smile seemed to have worn off a tiny bit.

They chatted a bit more, mostly about composing and concerts and all that. Though they were both string instrument musicians, classical music was an entirely foreign concept to Giwook. Soon they ran out of things to talk about and she stood up, saying her manager was calling, and she had to leave after thirty minutes of pointlessly waiting in the meeting room.

“Hey, actually,” she said, turning around before she opened the door. But then she paused, looking nervous for a second. “Is Hyungu…okay? I mean, did he say, or do, something unlike himself?”

“Um…he is? I think? Generally speaking, he is fine,” Giwook replied, slightly puzzled. “Why?”

She seemed to be struggling to find the right words, telling him hesitantly, “He - sent me this really… uh… text last night, I actually came by to check on him, to see if he’s alright. He sounded quite bothered and didn’t answer any of my texts afterwards.”

“…Huh," Giwook said.

He actually hadn’t seem Hyungu all morning, he suspected that he went to the office early in the morning, which was unusual.

“Anyway, I should get going now,” she said. Giwook couldn’t help but feel she was eyeing him down, with a hint of suspicion, almost. “Thank you for keeping me company.”

Their short encounter ended on a rather awkward note. Nonetheless, she seemed like a nice person, Giwook thought to himself after she had left, insisting that she could see herself out, and that Giwook should go about his day. He wondered why Hyungu was having second thoughts about dating her.

Maybe the unresolved tension between him and Yonghoon was really wearing him down. Or at least, that was the least detrimental possibility he could think of. But what exactly did Yonghoon do, that they could immediately cease all forms of affection towards each other? He decided to drop by his studio and keep his mind off from wandering towards more terrifying theories.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh has it already been a month? I am so sorry to leave you all hanging like this, I have been really busy with work and university that I completely forgot about this fic T.T

Hyungu still remembered the day he first met Harin, when they were approximately thirteen years old. He was sitting alone in a conference room, looking up alarmed when Harin entered the room and thus his personal space (which was considerably much wider than the average people). After introductions were exchanged, The same day, Harin treated him to a burger after their lesson had ended. The burger tasted nice, and it was nice of him, too.

Now he was sitting next to Harin again. But this time it wasn’t at the ModernK conference room. It was seven years later in the office building’s largest practice room. Hyungu was picking at his slice of the chocolate cake not speaking a word to anyone, only smiling and politely rejecting the director’s overzealous offer of a can of beer.

It was the most boring company party Hyungu had ever been to. Yonghoon, Dongmyeong and Giwook weren’t here because they had vocal training, their idol colleagues weren’t here because they had another schedule, even the trainees he was familiar with weren’t present.

The ‘party’ itself wasn’t really a party, technically. It was just an hour of break time where everyone could come down to the boardroom to have alcohol and dessert during working hour. Hyungu wasn’t even that sure what they were celebrating for; maybe it was another anniversary that slipped his mind.

Hyungu decided he was done picking at the little piece of cake he couldn’t finish and set the paper plate on the nearest table. There was really no point in remaining at the gathering, unless you wanted to banter with older colleagues for another hour and wasting time. He said to Harin, “I’m going to be at the studio.”

“Oh, okay,” Harin didn’t seem to mind that he was leaving. He couldn’t blame his friend, though; it wasn’t like he was a good company that evening.

Hyungu stood up and walked out of the room. Nobody noticed he had left without saying goodbye.

He took a shortcut towards the lift which would bring him to the basement. There were less people there, less talking, more room to think. The studio was always his safe haven at times like this.

When he looked at the time again it was way past midnight already. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, where he had gotten so absorbed into whatever he was working on, to the point that time ceased to be tangible. When he stood up his legs were as stiff as his guitar, he bent down to massage his aching shin.

“Hi.”

The voice behind him nearly made him bang his head against the computer monitor as he jolted upwards.

Simply because it was Yonghoon.

“Hey,” he said, uncertainly.

“Um,” Yonghoon started, sounding as uncertain as himself. “I think…the front door is locked.”

“Huh? What front door?”

“I mean, the glass door in front of the hallway,” Yonghoon explained. “It’s locked.”

“No way.” Hyungu said. They never locked that door, in case someone was still in the building after working-hours, which was a frequent occurrence. “Did you call someone to come get us?”

“Nobody’s in the building right now.”

“What?”

“Apparently, everyone went home early after the party, or something. I’m not sure,” Yonghoon said. “But I guess we’re stuck here for the night.”

Hyungu didn’t quite know how to process this string of information. He didn’t mind spending the night at the studio; he did that more often than what would be considered healthy. Someone must had thought that everyone was allowed to go home for the day after the celebration has ended, and locked down the entire building for security reasons.

Terrific. He glanced at Yonghoon. He looked defeated, and understandably so. He was wearing a white shirt which was clearly not ironed. 

“Why are you still here?” Hyungu asked finally, and realised it sounded like he was ordering Yonghoon to get out. Luckily Yonghoon hadn’t gotten the wrong idea.

“Composing. I was in my studio the whole time, guess that's why I didn't get the memo about everyone leaving early.”

“Oh,” Hyungu said. He had been the same. “I see.”

“So what are we going to do?”

“Do what?”

“I mean, we’re stuck here for the night.”  


“Yeah, as if we haven’t been stuck here every night since three years ago.”

His statement drew a chuckle from Yonghoon, which was strangely relieving.

“I guess you’re right,” he agreed.

They told the rest of the band what happened to them in the group chat. As expectedly they didn’t seem to be that concerned at all. Dongmyeong simply replied ‘ _k_ ’, Harin sent a thumbs up emoji, and only Giwook was kind enough to reveal the location of his secret snack stash in case they got hungry during the long night. They also called their manager, who laughed a bit too hard at their situation, and told them they could leave when security reported duty at 8am sharp the next morning. That was all the help they could get, better than nothing, Hyungu lamented.

And for a moment the two of them could pretend nothing went wrong, when they were confined to the small corner of the basement of a company office building, and forced to interact decently with each other.

“Actually, this is kind of fun,” Yonghoon said suddenly.

“Fun, how?”  


“It’s like a sleepover, don’t you think?”

“Right, sleeping over at the office, how fun,” Hyungu deadpanned.

“For such a talented lyricist, you sure are unimaginative. You know that?”

“And I’ll take that as a compliment.”

There was really no way either of them could actually sleep; at least that part resembled a fun sleepover. The couch in their studio was too cramped to even properly fit two people, and there were no substitutes for a mattress or futon. Luckily both of them are trained over the years to stay awake through the night and then sleep through the day without self-inducing a jet lag.

Hyungu watched as Yonghoon plopped himself down on the couch, declaring that he would take a brief nap, and falling asleep in under half a minute with a spare jacket covering his upper torso.

So, about _The Incident_.

He was trying really hard to erase everything about it since 4 weeks ago. Now that he thought about it, it felt like ages and ages ago. They were sitting at the computer, side by side, while Yonghoon was helping Hyungu to review a part of a guide to a new track. He couldn’t even remember which track it was, and what was it for. The only thing he remembered was Yonghoon didn’t smell like Giorgio Armani perfume, the sort his ex liked, it was too overbearing for Hyungu’s taste. Instead Yonghoon smelled like sweat and the cheap drugstore body wash at their dorm mixed with a faint scent of Dior Sauvage swiped carelessly behind his earlobes.

There was something alluring about the way the computer screen illuminated Yonghoon’s tired, but good-looking face. Hyungu had seen that same face everyday for almost two thousand days in a row, yet it was the first time it was brought to his front with such clarity.

_She_ by Elvis Costello started playing in his head out of nowhere. But all he could do was to drown out the melody with white noises of confusion and conflict.

“Are you even listening to me?” Yonghoon said. He typed something on the keyboard, and turned his head to the right. That was the moment Hyungu leaned in closer and kissed him, almost out of pure instinct.

When Hyungu pulled away after three second or so he didn’t know whether to feel allayed or hurt by the utter shock and horror on Yonghoon’s face, slowly coming to realisation of what they had done. What _he_ had done. It was almost like straining the guitar strings too hard and causing it to snap under pressure.

And at the moment Yonghoon ran away from him, it was all over. For him, for them, for the band, for everything, basically. It was over.


End file.
